A divorce can be traumatic for children and leave them with many questions and doubts. Communication is key so that children know their parents still love them and will continue to provide and be there for them. Kids should be told that they are not the cause of the divorce and that the divorce is final and cannot be reversed. Direct, honest communication during and after a divorce is very important.
Kids need structure and stability to know that their safety and daily routines will be cared for. Kids benefit to be told that even though mom and dad live separately, there will always be one of their parents to help with school, activities and any concerns. Set aside some time to let your children know that if they are sad, angry, or frustrated, they can come to you for help.
It can be very difficult after a divorce to be civil with your ex. But setting a positive example in front of the kids will go a long way to keeping the kids in a good mindset.
“At first, the parents can be overly hostile or overly friendly to each other,” said author Judy Osborne in Wisdom for Separated Parents. “Neither position holds for the long run. But as parents meet for teacher conferences, school plays, and baseball games, a benign energy can grow to replace the old anger, hurt and sadness. This new, less edgy, and, perhaps, more positive tone can be powerfully healing for adults and their children.”
In Colorado, it’s important to take certain steps to ensure the child-parent relationship is preserved. If one spouse leaves the marital home before the divorce is finalized, they will still want to be active in the kids’ lives so that their actions are not deemed abandonment. The parent who leaves should still do their part to financially support the kids and set parenting time to be actively involved in the kids’ lives.
When it comes time for the Colorado courts to approve parenting time and child support, a good history of assisting the kids will help each parent get a fair and equitable division of parental rights and responsibilities. Otherwise, even though Colorado is a no-fault divorce state, the failure to carry out parental duties can be devastating in the divorce proceedings.
Denver divorce attorney Bill Thode is experienced in helping individuals and families with all their divorce needs, including what to tell the kids during this tough time. Beyond divorce matters, Thode Law Firm, P.C. counsels on child custody and support, parenting time, spousal alimony, and property division. He also has contacts to family therapists should that be needed.
For more information:
201 Steele Street, Suite 201
Denver, CO 80206